I need... me

"Gypsy, I need you to....."  "Gypsy!  I need...."  Gypsy, I really need you to...."  Ugh!!  I feel like this was all I heard this past week.  Every time I turned around someone needed me to drop what I was doing and take care of what they needed.  It didn't seem to matter what I was working on or what deadlines I was trying to work within but they needed me to do something.  If you have been one of my dear readers for any amount of time, you can only imagine how well that went over with me...

I finally had to ask everyone/everything to just stop so I could attempt to prioritize some things and then get back to getting things accomplished.  While I was working on accomplishing tasks, in the back of my mind I was asking myself what I needed.  I have come to the conclusion that what I need is me.  I need to stop solely focusing on the needs of others but to take my wants/needs into consideration as well.  Yes, this is something I've written about before and I'm making it an issue again.  Why now?  Frankly, I'm tired...  I'm tired of what everyone else needs to trump what I need.  Because of that, I actually took this past Friday off of work.

I know that I was "supposed" to (since I traveled to my conference on Columbus Day I was entitled to take a day off of work to make up for that day) but while I was at work last week, I kept going back and forth on if I was actually going to end up taking the day off or not.  As we were locking up on Thursday, I made my decision to take the day off.  I definitely needed the day off.  I spent my day doing things for me.  I slept in, was lazy, took myself to the movies (enjoyed watching Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day -- I really enjoyed it!) and then I took myself to the beach.  I needed that.  I have always enjoyed just walking along the beach, finding someplace to sit, watching/listening to the waves and just soaking it all in.  I really need to do it more often but it comes down to making the time to do so.

As I've written about lately, I know that I need to become a little bit more selfish in terms of saying "no" or taking time off if/when I feel the need.  I let the other people in my building take time off but I don't really do it for myself.  Granted, coming up before too much longer, I am taking a good chunk of time off of work but that's still about seven-ish weeks away.  There are times at work that I think just shutting my office door might be helpful in order to just get things accomplished and some "me" time while I do so.  Tomorrow might be a good day to at least attempt the thought of closing the office door since my office-mate (person I share my office with) is off tomorrow.  We'll see if that works out for me or not...

I have been working on doing a better job of doing things for me but I know that I need to do more.  I  started to collect some new "me" accessories for work/play and have looked into some other possibilities to show "me."  I know that I have a unique personality and I do enjoy showing me now that I've allowed myself to start.  Depending on the situation, I still have my moments where I hide myself away but I need to stop doing that.  I have found that when I limit myself or hide myself away, I tend to feel more stress and have to bite my tongue more (to keep myself from saying things that I really shouldn't).  I know that I'm a work in progress and I just have to work a little bit harder I guess.

On that note, I am going to bring this to a close for the evening and prepare for the week ahead.  I hope that each and everyone of you embraces the opportunities to show your true self and to allow your freak flags to fly -- remember, you have your own personal flag and you get to show it to the world!  Wear a fun color, a cool accessory, your favorite pair of shoes; do the things that make you unique!  Have a wonderful night and week ahead my dear readers!  Thank you for joining me yet again!  =)