Complete and utter panic...

I started my day yesterday with a moment of complete and utter panic...  After I did my usual get up, take a shower, and get dressed, I let the dogs out of their crate to let them outside to do their business.  I noticed a red spot on the back of one of their heads so I wanted to take a closer look.  I was going to give him a quick bath before heading to the dance studio and as I removed his color that's when I had my moment of panic - the red "spot" that I had noticed was actually a deep hole in the back of his head!  I scooped him up and immediately looked online for an emergency vet.  I found one not far from where I live, put my other dog in the crate and placed my poor baby in the car.  I had a feeling it would be an adventure because he tends to get car sick but he just laid down on the front seat (which was an indication to me that he didn't feel well).

When I finally found the location of the emergency vet (which added insult to injury was located near the office of the lawyer I used for my divorce), they had me fill out paperwork.  Because I was worked up, my hand was shaking as I attempted to fill out all of the required documentation while I still was holding my dog in my arms.  Once I got everything filled out that they required, they took us back to the exam room.  The attendant asked me what happened and I had to answer honestly that I didn't know.  After doing the preliminary exam, she went and got the vet.  The vet came in, gave his wound one look and immediately asked me how long he had been sick.  I said that I didn't know what she was talking about because he hasn't been acting sick.  Some of the symptoms she was listing, I told her was just his personality - I'm not sure if she believed me or not...

What the diagnosis ended up being was massive ear infection, tooth decay/mouth infection and the hole was caused by a ruptured abscess.  What a mess...  They ended up putting him under general anesthesia (so I had to fill out forms stating I understood there was a possibility he might not wake up), cleaned/sutured the hole, pulled teeth and sent him home on five different medications (three different antibiotics, pain meds and an anti-inflammatory - phew...).  I have to take him back in the middle of the week to remove the drain and check on him and then again in two weeks to remove the sutures.  One of the plus sides I guess, is I'll have to take a lunch everyday for the next two weeks in order to come home and give him medication.

The whole situation has left me feeling pretty guilty for the dog who needed surgery and my other dog who was left behind.  After this weekend, I really wish that I had a doggy thought translator so I would know what each of them wanted/needed and I wouldn't have to guess.  Maybe if I would have had one of those, I would've known he wasn't feeling well and this situation could have been avoided.  Granted, knowing about it earlier may or may not have changed the outcome but I still feel bad that they've both had to go through what they have this weekend...

My head knows that feeling guilty about the whole situation won't change anything however I still feel that way and it's left me asking a lot of "what ifs."  What if I didn't spend so many hours at work?  What if I would have been home more often?  What if I wouldn't have been home this weekend (I had been invited to go to an out of state belly dance retreat that lasted from Thursday through tomorrow)?  What if I wouldn't have noticed the wound when I did?  I even went to the dreaded place of what if I wouldn't have fought so hard to keep both dogs when I got divorced - would this have still happened (completely illogical of me but I still went there...)?  Too many questions, not enough answers...  I suppose I have to look at is that it did happen, I got him medical attention as quickly as I could and I've been taking care of him the best I can since; but those thoughts aren't easy to come by - especially in the middle of the night...


 Well, my dear readers, I hope I didn't bring you down too much this week by the things that I had to say but I think it is time for me to bring things to a close and head to bed.  Because of everything that happened yesterday, it's no surprise that I didn't get very good sleep last night and I'm hoping for better sleep tonight.  I think it's time for the doggy patient to get more medication anyway...  I hope you have a fabulous week my dear readers and that you don't have any surprises such as this one...