Words, words, words

This past week, I heard something that stuck with me (I don't remember where I overheard it but it definitely stayed with me) - "there is an art to finding yourself."  Maybe that's part of my problem, I was never very good at art class...  Sure,  I can draw silly little cartoon animals/pictures that the kids have always enjoyed but that's about it.  Maybe I need to shake the dust off my paints/brushes and get to creating who it is I want to be.

It was a rough week this past week at work.  Since things had been a little stressful (the kids were on Spring Break so they were a little nuts and of course it rained on and off all week so that didn't help), I decided to put together goodie bags for my staff.  In each bag I placed a baggie of chocolates, a small container of play dough, a bounce ball and a box of crayons (my Mom has taught me that you're never too old to enjoy a new box of crayons).  They were so excited about their goodies that it made me smile.  The only mistake I made with the goodie bags is I gave them out on April Fools Day and I think a few of the staff were waiting for me to prank them.  I told them that it was just to help them remember to have fun.

While presenting the staff was a fun aspect of my week, another not so fun aspect of my week was I was verbally attacked by a parent over the phone.  I was impressed with myself that while he was ranting and raving I didn't retaliate (which I really wanted to do) but I basically just sat there and took it.  That was a difficult but important step along my quest, I think.  Sooner or later we all encounter someone who isn't pleased with us or something we've said/done and there are times something we say can make the situation worse.  Granted, I probably should have told this particular parent that if they were going to continue to speak to me in such a manner the conversation would need to come to a close but of course I didn't think about that until afterwards.

It made me think about the sing-song that I learned when I was little:  sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.  Why in the world do we teach kids that?!  Words can and do hurt.  Lots of times, words are more powerful/hurtful than actions.  I think we do a disservice to teach this concept (that words don't hurt us) to anyone.  Words are very powerful things and they can either help or hurt us as well as those around us.  Not everyone understands or believes that.  I know people who just tell me to shake off the things that people say but it's often easier said than done.

Yesterday was a very long and tiring day after a crazy work week.  We had a dance gig yesterday that left me tired and sore.  We had a rehearsal in the morning and then had time to get ready for the show.  I felt we had too much stand around time time in between getting ready for the show and the time we actually performed but that's alright.  As soon as we started dancing there was a huge crowd that appeared (we danced at an outdoor street festival) and they stayed for the entire hour that we danced. Not to brag or anything but the crowd went crazy when I did my sword solo and that felt pretty good!

Today, even though I was sore and tired, I got up early and went to another dance class.  I decided to attend the class of the woman I often sub for in a nearby town.  Her class was SO much fun and I think it's exactly what I needed to help boost my muchness factor.  I don't know if part of it was because I didn't feel any pressure since I don't perform with this particular group but I felt the freedom in the dance that I had when I first started (and that I feel when I solo).  I have an opportunity to dance my sword solo over the next two weekends (this coming weekend at a fundraiser and the following weekend at a belly dance showcase about an hour away) and I hope that I remember how I felt during class today to use in my performance.  Maybe I need to think of belly dance as a performance art to use in order to find myself...

Well my dear readers, I think it's time for me to bring this to a close in order to hopefully get some good sleep tonight.  I hope each and every one of you have an opportunity to find your muchness this week and that you can do at least one thing that brings you joy.  =)