Stress

I am glad that we are entering a new week because there was too much drama in my life this past week...  Thankfully I did not fall at work this week (my bruise from last week's "incident" is turning all sorts of pretty colors and is still a little swollen) but the person who's been extremely helpful left this week to move onto bigger and better things.  While I am very happy for him, I am sad at the same time that he's no longer going to be at work to help me if/when I need him.  I guess I'm just being presented with one more situation where I need to learn to stand on my own two feet and hope that I don't fall...

Maybe part of the problem is I feel like I'm once again putting too much pressure on myself not to screw up and that's causing issues.  I'm striving too hard to achieve that impossible goal of perfection that things that I wouldn't usually miss or mess up, that's what I'm doing - I'm missing steps or things that I need to do or I'm messing up...  I think I once again need to just step back, look at and acknowledge the things that I am doing "right" and give myself credit for those things rather than focusing on the other stuff.

Another part that makes me think that I might be stressing myself out is how I woke up this morning.  When it was time to wake up, I looked to see what time it was and I couldn't find my alarm clock.  The reason I was unable to find my alarm clock is my head was almost at the foot of the bed and my feet were almost to the head of the bed...  It's been quite some time since I've done that...  Granted, I've woken up sideways across the bed but it's been a long time since I've done the 180 rotation.  I woke up feeling rested but that feeling quickly dissipated as the day went on.  Even though it's Sunday, I tried very hard not to take a Sunday Afternoon Nap (even though those are the best kind of naps to take).  I just had too much to accomplish today in order to take the time and have one of those fabulous nap opportunities.

I think one of the things that I need to try and get back into is working on myself.  Over the past week or so since my leg has been bruised and my knee sore, I cut way back on the workouts I had been doing and only really worked out once (other than going to dance class).  Up until this last week, I had been working out every other day if not a couple of days in a row.  I had got beyond being too sore to move after the workout and I'm afraid I'm going to be back to that point when I start up again.  I worked out yesterday and plan on working out tomorrow so I'm going to keep my fingers crossed that I'll be able to get back into motivating myself back to working out every other day at least.

I know that this is definitely another situation that I need to acknowledge how far I've come and what a difference I've made size/weight wise but I still tend to focus on how far I still feel as if I need to go.  It probably doesn't help that one of the children at work began to talk to others about how fat she thinks I am.  When she was confronted about the information and I asked her about how saying things like that make other people feel, the girl looked right at me and said, "well you are!"  Talk about rubbing salt into an open wound...  I know that I'm not where I want to be yet but I also have to realize how far I've come (and some days that it way easier said than done).

Alright, I think if I'm going to get up in the morning and squeeze my workout in before all of the other things I need to do tomorrow, I had better sign off for another week.  Have a good week, dear readers!  =)