Introvert

I had an interesting conversation with someone this past week.  We were at a pretty good-sized barbecue and they asked me why I was sitting off to the side and not joining into the conversations.  My response to them is that I was just listening to the conversations going on around me because I am really more of an introvert than an extrovert.  They laughed at me.  When I asked why they thought that was funny, they replied, "How can you be an introvert when you dance with a huge sword on your head?"  I'm not sure that I know the answer to that myself.


What I do know about myself is I do tend to get quiet in social situations (unless my Mom or Grandmother are involved and then none of us can stop talking once we engage in conversation with one another) but there is the other side of me that truly feels alive when I'm soloing with my scimitar.  In my opinion, it's pretty cool that a lot of belly dancers that I know have such different personalities between their dance self and their "everyday" self.


I know that I need to find some sort of a way to combine the introvert in me as well as the dancer with the scimitar side of me.  Yes, I know that is some sort of a contradiction (yes, I'm like a Starburst commercial) but it's me.  =)


I'm not sure why in social situations I find myself as someone who listens to conversations and doesn't often join in.  I think part of it is not wanting to say the wrong thing.  Another part of it is from wanting to be invisible for so long.  I'm finding though that as I lose weight I don't want to necessarily be invisible anymore.  I know that I might have a long road ahead of me since I am such an introvert but it's something that I'm willing to work on.


Another thing that I need to work on is not taking what people say so personally.  People have been making comments that I have been taking personally that I should just let go of and that's something that I have struggled with most of my life.  My personality is such that I take comments to heart and over think/analyze them way too much.  I need to work on taking those types of comments and only take to heart those that will be helpful and disregard the hurtful ones.  I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to do that but I know that it's a goal that I would like to meet some day.


I had to stop and laugh at myself today.  My dogs were running around and being nuts and I found myself giving them my best "teacher look."  Needless to say, it didn't work too well on them.  =)  When I realized what I was attempting to do of course I started to laugh and that made them stop what they were doing.  At that point, they both jumped on me and started giving me kisses.  That, of course, made me laugh harder and more doggie kisses ensued.  It was kind of fun to just take that opportunity to be silly with them even if it was just for a little bit.  I miss just goofing off with the dogs since I'm often too busy.  I think I'm going to make more of an effort to just play with them.


Well, I know that I have ended several of my last posts this way, but it's time to bring this to a close so I can sew a little on my baby blanket project for one of my newest nephews before I go to bed.  Sweet sleep, dear readers!  =)