What you say...

As kids, we're taught to say, "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." When did we decide that was an okay thing to teach children to say? Words hurt. Words can attack. Words can sometimes even be more damaging than physical damage. These words don't only need to be the words you direct at other people but directed towards yourself as well. The reason I know this is because I don't often have the kindest words to say to myself...

We did an exercise in belly dance class today that was geared towards expressing good things about ourselves to another troupe member (we paired off and had to take turns telling the other person only good things about ourselves; then we switched and had to tell them good things about them). I, personally, HATE exercises like that! Not because I can't think of good things about other people but about myself. There is a line from the movie Pretty Woman that often comes to my mind in situations such as this, "the bad things (people tell us) are easier to believe."

Don't get me wrong; I have had people pointing out the good qualities they see in me ever since I was little. However, a relationship I was in during High School showed me that people can say cruel and hateful things to someone they say they love. Hearing those things chipped away at what little self control I had as a teenage girl and has really made me doubt myself ever since then. The next relationship I was in screwed me up in a different way because he would often tell me one thing and mean another (and he would then get annoyed/upset when I didn't know what he really wanted). The relationship after that was with the wasband and if you've been following my musings you know how his words cut me to the bone.

I know that there have been times in my life where I have said things in anger and words that I didn't mean. This is something that I'm going to challenge myself to work on. Since I have been hurt by words of other people, I know that my words can also hurt others. I don't want to be the cause of hurting someone else because of what words come out of my mouth. I guess we all just need to consider the other phrase that we learned as children, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

My challenge to all of you (and more importantly, myself) is to find one nice thing to say about yourself each day. I know, I know. It might be a little strange or weird but I think that it's something that we should all attempt. Good luck!